we just had the most amazing time in prineville this weekend. we went over to celebrate my church sister's 30th b-day, and it was a surprise for her. she had no clue we were all coming. it was nice just to get out of town. we got to see our church siblings who we haven't seen for a long time. the kids got to play with emily and amanda is pregnant with another girl, and is due in july right around averi's b-day, so the girls will be exactly 3 years apart. we are a close family, so it was fun to see matty and manda's parents too. all in all it was a great weekend.

So, bitchy day. Don't know why...woke up fine, but by 10 I knew it was going to be one of those days. I started cleaning since that is what I do when I'm in "a mood". Thought it was cause I didn't take my meds, so I took them. That was 10 hours ago, and I'm still in "the mood". I know I'm crabby, but there is nothing I can do about it. Absolutely everything is irritating me....the kids are fighting, I haven't signed my divorce papers STILL even though tomorrow will be 2 weeks since court, Brian said this morning at 10ish that we would talk later, and I still haven't heard from him, can't figure the boy out yet...etc. Nothing bad really happened today, but you would think the world was coming to an end!!! WTF!!! I HATE days like this. I just want the day to be over with and hopefully feel better tomorrow. I know I will have days like this, but it seems like I'm getting them more and more. The lack of money isn't helping AT ALL. The house hasn't sold. I think things are just building up and making it worse. OK enough venting for today. This is what Megs told me this was for though..to get out my thoughts. Well, here they are for the day...aren't you glad you logged in?:)

gorgeous day!!!!!

It was sooooo nice today. We got up and went to church then headed to the Linfield/George Fox baseball game. What a perfect day for baseball!!!!!!! It was so nice. Linfield lost, but we spent 3 hours in the sun watching baseball. A great Sunday. Then we headed to the park for a little bit. We ran up and down the sand hill multiple times. My calves are killing me. They hurt still from doing it yesterday too. We are taking advantage of the nice weather, and I love playing with my kids. They love the park, so we have been going as much as possible when the weather gets nice (which hasn't been much lately). Both kids love the sand. Cooper keeps finding kids his age there, and they take off and play. Averi and I then hit the slides. She loves them. I hate them. They make me dizzy, and I hate heights, and you have to climb SO high to get to the top. The things we do for our kids though. It is worth it to see her smile when we get to the bottom. I'm a little burnt on my neck from today though. That is the price I pay for being in the sun. I will really be hurting tomorrow. :)

here you go megs!!

So, Megs thinks I need to blog to get my emotions out, so here we go. Just yesterday I went to court and got everything settled with my ex. As soon as his lawyer draws up the papers and we sign them we will officially be divorced. It has been a long and stressful 7 months and 10 days since I left, but it is finally over. I can't wait. I get to legally be Belderrain again. I can't wait to change everything back. I'm ready to move on with my life and not have to deal with him anymore. Now I just need to learn to trust myself again and learn how who I really am without having someone else telling me who I am and what I can and cannot do. I'm ready to just be me for the first time in 7 years. At this point there won't be a next time, but you never know what will happen in the future.